The Housesitting Lifestyle: Rent-Free Living and Travel with Furry Friends Included

Whether you’re a nomadic traveller, location independent with a laptop-shaped office or you’re on the hunt for an adventurous way to pick your next holiday, looking after somebody else’s home and pets might just be the key to affording the ultimate lifestyle.

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It might sound too good to be true, but we’ve found an amazing way to live without paying for accommodation.

For years we’ve worked around the world, lived on boats and in buses and vans, and spent more nights under canvas than a middle aged back can handle.

These days work and family commitments keep us in the UK more often than not, and while we wait for our old home (a 45 foot widebeam houseboat in East London) to sell, coupled with extra savings needed to afford our dream (a rural farm to convert into an outdoors retreat) we needed to find a way to live cheaply.

And we’ve done it, completely removing rent and household bills from our outgoings, at the same time as staying all over the country in some glorious properties.

Our secret: TrustedHousesitters, a website and app that pairs owners with house sitters, and creates a network that leads to an intensely homely way to travel.

Almost always there are pets as part of the bargain, which to us has been a bonus from the beginning. Ever since Em and I met, she has been suggesting we get a dog (or three) but we travel a lot for work and right now it wouldn’t be practical to have our own pet. This is where TrustedHousesitters comes into its own, we get to look after dogs (and other animals) without the commitment and expense of owning one ourselves.

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This feels good

There’s more to TrustedHousesitters than free shelter and dogs to cuddle, the ethos of the site reflects our personal values and general approach to life.

There’s an initial sign-up fee paid to TrustedHousesitters for membership (£89/year for sitters & owners, £49/3 months for owners, or £114/year combined for those who own homes and also housesit), but after that no money is involved. There’s no transaction between house sitter and home owner which makes the whole arrangement feel holistic and…right.

Click here for 25% off your new TrustedHousesitters Membership

Without money there’s less pressure and more trust, and the very process of applying to look after someone’s house and pets is driven by care, not need.

A pair of true YesDogs

Em and I run a community called the YesTribe, which thrives off a set of basic values such as kindness, looking after one another and not being afraid to make an adventurous (or unconventional) lifestyle choice when you feel the urge. House sitting certainly fits into this idea of taking the path less followed, and as with all out of the box ideas, it tends to work out in the end if you go into it with an open mindset.

It feels wonderful to find a home owner who trusts us - as strangers - to effectively step into their shoes and look after a (furry) loved one in their own home. It should come with a lot of pressure but actually it doesn’t feel that way, the whole process brings out the good in people.

And in return, we’re more driven to prove they made the right call, which means looking after their place as if it was our own, and giving their pets plenty of time, care and cuddles

You’re staying where?!

Browsing through available sits on TrustedHousesitters can be an exercise in self control, a smorgasbord of dreamy opportunity. We’re planning to carve out a few travelling months this year letting TrustedHousesitters guide our movements but for now, palatial apartments in Sydney or sprawling countryside properties in Colorado just whet the appetite.

We’re slowly searching for our perfect basecamp and house sitting means we’re able to check out different parts of the country from the comfort of…someone else’s armchair.

The English housesits we’ve enjoyed haven’t exactly been shabby. When it comes to accommodation our basic needs are few; I need good Internet for work, Em likes a decent kitchen (which compared to our van is a pretty easy ask), and a nice place to lounge at the end of a long day is always a pleasure. We don’t need much, yet still relish staying in comfortable places. I mean, why not?!

But while we’ve stayed in suburban homes, converted barns and delightful rural cottages, the pets have always been central to our stays.

The Christmas Present Station

It’s a dog’s life

Don’t try to tell me you haven’t been searching under the tree for presents

Dogs have an amazing ability to show unconditional love. From the moment the owners leave, it’s as if we become the only humans in the world, and that bond is the DNA of any housesit. There are so many mental health benefits to having a dog around (and this is coming from a lifelong cat person!): the incentive to get out of the house for walkies, a warm furry ball flopped at your feet when the TV or laptop is on, endless playfulness and back-rolling, the wag-tailed enthusiasm at any sign of a door being opened. Or just that cheeky look when they need to go out.

Best friend, right there. And it’s hard to leave them when the sit comes to an end.

The downside

Another downside: there’s no guarantee your shoes/ slippers will be where you left them

“You’re living the dream.” If we had a pound for every time this is suggested we’d already have our own home to let other people look after. But of course, nothing is ever 100% perfect.

We’ve more or less adapted to the gentle upheaval of packing and unpacking each time we find a new temporary basecamp, and to that squeezed van life in between sits.

And that extra edge of necessary care when we’re in someone else’s home. Making sure there’s a coaster underneath a hot mug, not leaving the lights on and ensuring we don’t skimp on the chores are part and parcel of modern day living, but we can never totally relax, not 100%. This isn’t debilitating by any means, but there’s a conscious desire to ensure the owners return to a clean, unspoilt house and the subsequent positive review.

Oh, and when the dog disappears out of sight during walkies there’s always that thought, ‘oh god, what if she doesn’t come back?! How would that conversation go down?!’

Then there are the goodbyes. The sadness you don’t prepare for, that final hug with your new best friend. Especially heart-twangy when they know you’re leaving, the puppy dog eyes are in full effect, and like our last pupsit, when she wouldn’t even get up and laid in her basket, mad with us.

Which of course, just gives us more incentive to leave the house spotless and get asked back time and time again.

Reasons we love using TrustedHousesitters

Living in the midst of an adventurous life means it wouldn’t be practical or fair for us to get a pet right now. By using TrustedHousesitters, we get all the benefits of having a pet without the complications of actually owning one. It’s Uncle Syndrome, the best of both worlds.

For us, this is an absolute winner as we will probably choose our first pet the same day as we get the keys to our new home, and by then our house sitting experience will have made the decision for us.

We get to experience different sizes, breeds, temperaments and all the while have the peace of mind that we are looking after someone else’s pride and joy. We get immense happiness through looking after animals and showing them the love they deserve - if you’re a pet person, then I’m sure you understand.

When it comes to applying for sits, we love that there’s no middle man, we speak directly to home and pet owners to establish a relationship before we arrive. The whole process hones that self awareness of how we come across and takes trust on both sides to reach a ‘yes.’

There’s also an added intimacy to staying in homes instead of hotels. People have essentially trusted us with their lives, we’re stepping into their shoes while we’re away and we never take shelter for granted, and our gratefulness ensures that we do the best job we can.

Time to go

So, bit by bit we’re saving money, exploring the country, revelling in each new 5* review and the easing of the process of applying for new housesits (which is so much easier once you have good feedback from past owners).

With a bit of forward planning we’ve managed to reduce the gaps between upcoming sits to a matter of hours, if not a day or two, and in between we live out of our van or visit friends who we wouldn’t usually be passing.

We’re starting to look ahead at longer housesits, and we know it’s still the right lifestyle to lead because recently we found the option for a pretty cool dream home of our own, but still preferred the idea of house sitting. Each new sit is an opportunity, and living flexibly, open to the serendipity of the right stranger in the right place deciding to go on their holiday at just the right time, it’s a lifestyle choice too good to ignore right now.

One thing’s for sure, when we do finally find our own home, we’ll definitely use TrustedHousesitters when we go away.

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Even if you have a home or a long-term contract and need to be in the same place for work, then you could use TrustedHousesitters on your next holiday. There are hundreds of opportunities listed around the world for varying lengths of stay, why not find your ideal housesit and let that guide your destination choice? Just a couple of nights sitting will pay off the annual membership, so what have you got to lose?

For our thoughts on how best to use TrustedHousesitters, with plenty of practical advice and suggestions, check out the other blog we’ve written on this subject.

And if you can’t resist the idea of giving this a go, save 25% off your annual membership with the code: SAYYESMORE when you sign up.

• we worked in partnership with TrustedHousesitters on these blogs, and all words, thoughts and experiences are genuinely our own

Top Tips for Using TrustedHousesitters

Ever since we started using TrustedHousesitters we’ve been faced with endless questions of wonderment and curiosity: How does it work? That sounds awesome! How do I do it too!? Well, here it is; your one-stop-shop if you’re thinking of joining this network of homeowners and pet-loving, travelling strangers who are united by a common kindness. 

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Get 25% off your TrustedHousesitters Membership with the code: SAYYESMORE

TrustedHousesitters is the perfect solution for all kinds of people. With members in over 130 countries, it’s the world’s largest house and petsitting platform.

For us, an adventurous couple who mostly work from our laptops, are on the lookout for our forever home and (currently) move around too much to have our own furry friend, house sitting has become a way of life.

We thought, why not explore different areas of the country (and the world) by staying in a ready made home with a trusty furry local for company?! 

Granted, our lifestyle isn’t necessarily usual, but that doesn’t make us the exception. Anyone can use TrustedHousesitters. Whether you’re looking for accommodation or a city break, a countryside escape, an overseas adventure or a nearby stay when visiting family or friends - you’re likely to find more than a few options to choose from. We even have friends using TrustedHousesitters as they backpack around the world.

Emms gets some help “at work”

The site has become so useful to us it seems strange that there are some who don’t use it at all, so we thought we’d share our learnings on how to best use the service, and why it might be helpful.

House sitting costs less than a hotel or Airbnb, and although it takes a little more work than just making a booking, it comes with all the comforts of home. Space, facilities, cooking equipment, AND a happy pet waiting to greet you on arrival. 

The wonderful thing about TrustedHousesitters is that no money changes hands between sitter and owner. Once you pay for annual membership (the equivalent of a meal for two on Date Night) your costs are covered. Get 25% off your TrustedHousesitters Membership with the code: SAYYESMORE (if you sign up using this link, we also get two months extra on the site free! So thanks!).

The currency on this site is honesty and kindness, and that’s a key feature for us. As sitters, we give pet and home owners peace of mind by caring for the things they love too much to leave behind unguarded; they are offering sitters somewhere lovely to stay for free, safe in the knowledge that their home and furry family members will be loved while they are away. It really is a win win.

Ok, so if you’re liking this plan - here’s the practical advice…

“It would appear that you’ve stolen my hair”

For House/Pet Owners

It’s a great comfort to know that you don’t have to book your beloved Rolo and Buttons into cold kennels while you jet off to the sunny Bahamas for 3 weeks.

You can leave them warm and comfy in their own home where they will be much happier, cared for by a trusted person who wants nothing more than to look after them for a while.

You’re no longer grounded to your home, never being able to travel because you don’t know what to do with your pets or you don’t want to leave your home unattended for too long.

We haven’t yet enjoyed a home of our own to let other people sit for, but we’ve learned a little from the owners of the homes we’ve stayed in. Hopefully it’ll be helpful to hear advice from the other side.

Once you’re signed up, take the time to write a detailed Bio and Welcome Pack as more information is far better than not enough. Share plenty of photos of your home and pets - in our experience these are equally as important, sitters will want to know about your pets and the home they might be staying in. It’ll save you question and answer time in the long-run and offers potential sitters more certainty in their application.

If your pets or home have specific instructions that need attention, or quirks that won’t be obvious unless you know them, it’s massively helpful for sitters to be prepared for them. It also gives you peace of mind that you’ve covered everything - TrustedHousesitters will give you a template to fill out, it’s super easy and gives the best comprehensive guide to your home. 

Murphy the spaniel dries off after a wild swim. That’ll be extra time with a towel later…

Get to know your sitters before you exchange keys. If you can meet them and walk them around your home a few hours before you leave, it makes things super smooth and increases trust and good feeling on both sides.

We tend to arrive an hour or so before hosts need to leave so they can introduce us to their home and beloved animals. It’s also super handy to set up a video call when the sit is confirmed so both parties can get a feel for the other, get to know each other and ask questions without a wait between written messages. We always feel more comfortable about a sit when we come off a video call with the other side. It’s always nice to settle any concerns early on, especially if it’s their first time using the site and leaving pets with strangers. 

And pet owners, you don’t have to wait for sitters to come to you, you can search for your ideal candidates and contact them directly through the website or the app. This is great if you’re in a hurry to get it sorted - just search for your dates and see who’s available to housesit in your area. 

The Trust Factor

We get it. It’s a big deal, letting a stranger into your home, let alone giving them the responsibility of caring for a member of your family.

The cherry on top :)

Make sure that you look at the reviews of anyone applying to fill your housesit. You can see how they’ve done on previous housesits and get a feel for who they are. A pre-stay video call is a great way to get a feel for their reasons to be house sitting, and then let your instinct be the guide.

Watch the news and read the papers and it becomes harder and harder to trust others. But remember, every day good things happen that we don’t hear about. People are good and kind, graceful and grateful, and one of the reasons we love TrustedHousesitters is that it tunes into kindness and trust, and allows decency and good communication to be part of the service.

For Housesitters

It’s SO easy to get excited and jump in to applying for the biggest dreamy house with a menagerie of animals on a beach in remote Croatia, Colorado or Canada. Maybe you’ve always wanted a pony, never met an alpaca in person or your nan used to have one of those lizards when you were little!

But the key when applying for house sits is to not take on more than you can handle. If you’re inexperienced at caring for that animal, say so in your application. Maybe they can teach you on arrival or ask a neighbour to help out - but you don’t want to get there and find you’re out of your depth or don’t have time to care for them all. An honest sitter is a trusted one. 

Some home owners offer use of their car, some lend you their annual passes to local attractions for you to explore; and many will make families welcome so you can bring your kids, your own pup and even Grandpa to enjoy the escape with you!

Consider how you’re going to get to that place - if you confirm a sit and then find out flights are way out of budget or you don’t have a vehicle for the road trip, then it may not be for you.

Walkies with a view. Birmingham, October 2019

The worst thing is having an unreliable sitter - don’t be the idiot who cancels - earn that 5* review because you were the legend who showed up and did your best for them. 

Communicate well and have fun during your house sit. We always create a WhatsApp conversation with our pet owners so we can ask questions if things crop up and we like to send photo and video updates of our lovely new friends to show they are alive and well. If you show that their beloved Schnuffles is happily playing with her favourite toy at home then you are giving them peace of mind that she is being well loved and cared for in their absence (also showing that the house hasn’t burnt down since they left is nice reassurance!).

Enjoy it! You’re saving money and getting the awesome company of pets while experiencing a new area without paying for accommodation! Explore the local sights, take the pooch (if they have one) to different walk sites so you both get a day out. Many pet owners say their animals seem happier when they get home because they’ve had such a great time while they were away!

The App

Although the TrustedHousesitters website is great, we recommend that you download the app to your phone and carry it around in your pocket. (Download from the App Store / Google Play) It’s super easy to use, especially if you’re on the move, and we actually prefer it to using the website. You can ‘favourite’ particular sitters and homes to save them for later if existing dates don’t match up and then you get notifications when new dates are added.

You can also save your searches and get notifications when new opportunities come up that fit your criteria. That way, you can apply straight away and make sure you’re the first application they see. 

It’s safe to say that since using the website, we have become big fans and advocates for this spectacular way of traveling - it’s hard to believe we didn’t discover TrustedHousesitters until fairly recently.

Now well into our new form of luxurious nomadic living, and with a few house sits and 5* reviews under our belts, we can’t recommend it highly enough.

It doesn’t escape our attention that it takes a lot for a person or family to entrust their home life and furry family members to an utter stranger, and we’re always hugely grateful to be considered. It takes a careful selection process, great and honest reviews and clear communication to choose the right sit or sitter.

We run through any ground rules or expectations ahead of time, ensure we know if there are plants to water and when the bins need to be put out. And we’ve also asked if a friend can stay, rather than just try to sneak them in. The owners have always been open to this.

Most of all it takes good people wanting to do good things, a belief that humans and pets are awesome and a willingness to grab the opportunity and say yes to turning strangers into friends (even if they just become best friends for your pet!). 

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Read our other blog about TrustedHousesitters, all about the house sitting lifestyle and don’t forget, save 25% off your TrustedHousesitters Membership with the code: SAYYESMORE

* we worked in partnership with TrustedHousesitters on these blogs, and all words, thoughts and genuine experiences are our own

How did you start making a living from adventure?

I read somewhere recently that if you’re not hating what you’re doing most of the time, then it’s a holiday, not an adventure. And I thought, “WELL, WHAT A SILLY NOTION.”

When I embarked on my first adventure I didn’t have a career or a lifetime vocation in mind, I was simply seeking a change of direction. And yep, it wasn’t easy a lot of the time, but the very reason I carried on doing this stuff was because it filled me with life, with lessons, with joy. Adventure for me sticks with the old school definition of heading off to a place unknown and pushing physical and mental limits, and that process coupled with being outside, fit and healthy and moving daily was ever so fulfilling. Directed by a purpose which in many cases was to meet people and eventually make it to a place far off across the the map.

Conjuring up an idea, making it real and enjoying the fruits of the labour gave me a sense of being alive that nothing else had before.

When you hate something most of the time, it’s not worth continuing for long. But living an experimental life and turning those seedling ideas into something tangible: it gave me a slow burning thrill, to honour the dreamworld inside my head. I wanted - no, needed - to keep doing new things that offered a new perspective, and slowly I realised that as personal as the choice for an adventure was, it had a little impact on some of the people I met.

Those first couple of years I weened myself off the ways I knew how to make money, designing crap websites mainly. Every job I took made me hate myself and temporarily destroyed the motivation I had to get off the wheel. But the money kept me going for another month or two so I continued, but bit by bit started to say “no”. Then one day…

I got a book deal.

And then someone asked me to write an article for a magazine.

And I got invited to a school to talk about skateboarding across Australia.

Three new ways to make an income, three indicators that there was money in this. Not much, certainly at the beginning, and these opportunities definitely didn’t come a knockin’ every day. But they came because I had a story now, and I figured that if I carried on doing these really random things that I loved - which you can read as just being true to who I was and who I wanted to be - then my story would grow and hopefully become more interesting, and the opportunities would appear more and more.

And that’s when I thought that maybe I could make a living from this stuff one day.

Values

Values, values, values. The only foundation to build on. It took me a long time to work mine out but I was pretty sure of a few things early on. One, I wasn’t going to get rich making a living from adventure but that was ok, because a wealthy life isn’t dependent on coin.

It’s not what you earn, it’s what you don’t spend. So, I spent barely anything. For a decade I found places to sleep for free - sofas, spare rooms, parks, the space between two trees. I didn’t eat out. None of those desperate takeaway coffees. Peanut butter sandwiches.

Everything I needed fit into a rucksack, so if I bought something it would have to be worth carrying. Everything I spent was an investment. A new camera. A laptop. A hard drive. A train or plane ticket to begin a new road. Absolutely everything I spent had an end goal which I knew would lead to opportunity.

I taught myself the skills that otherwise I’d have to pay someone else for. Designing websites. Writing copy. Taking photos. Editing film. Making podcasts. Scripting press releases. Saved me money, taught me new skills, kept me humble.

My trips were super cheap, cheaper than living in one place and paying rent. I couldn’t bear the idea of renting a place and then still paying that rent even though I was away, even for a night. So travelling and camping on those nights I wasn’t invited into someone’s home was the cheapest way I knew how to live, while at the same time each day added to my story.

I cut out useless from my life and this stretched out the pennies. I knew how many books I had to sell to afford a meal or a plane ticket.

I also knew that I had to serve an apprenticeship. I felt like I needed to earn that .com after my name. I didn’t feel I was good enough to ask for money in return for speaking in public. Between 2007 and 2010 I gave over 200 talks for free at schools and small companies. It was training. Sometimes they gave me travel money and I was really, really grateful.

And then one day someone offered me a fee that covered over three months of living and the best thing: I felt I deserved it.

And the next week I got a message from a company that made dry bags, asking if I’d be that company’s Outdoor Champion for a year. What they said was the most impactful line a sponsor ever sent me. “We’d like to give you £1000 and some gear to help you along the way. And we don’t want you to change a thing, just keep on being the person you are.” *

And that’s when I started making a living from adventure.

Variety

Making an abnormal living is not easy. The pressure of an income can kill a passion. Don’t limit yourself, no human is a one trick pony.

Think about how you can combine your skills and personality with travel and adventure and don't be afraid to consider the parts of your adventurous life that you really enjoy. I always thought that if I was going to create my own living from adventure then it would be stupid to make it from the worst bits!

Work hard. I was endlessly tenacious and every waking moment of every day was dedicated to living the life I wanted. For so long I craved a nest where I could just leave some stuff, a haven with guaranteed wifi rather than wandering the streets for a new cafe with a dark corner where I could work without buying anything or being caught skimping.

Each day I wrote a bit, developed my website, told everyone I met what I did in the hope that eventually they’d remember me when they were in a position to recommend a speaker or a writer.

For the first four years I took every bit of work I could, whether it filled me with joy or not. Every action is practice and I improved with each talk, article, workshop and media interview. The sense of improvement or even dealing with one of those car-crash presentations brought its own satisfaction. Even if it’s not great at the time, ultimately the crap pays off.

And most importantly, I continually lived on adventures and took on self-set social projects. If it interested me then I figured it might interest my audience. Whether it was paddleboarding the Mississippi or finding 50 ways to make £50, I’d set out my stall and this was the line I was living.

Each year I gave myself one or two new skills that I could earn from. At last count, 14 years on from quitting my last job, I have 18 different forms of income, five or six of them are regular, the others are choice or opportunity. When one becomes tiring I switch it off for a while, just to let the passion grow again.

Ignore temptation

I used to bear deep jealousy in those early days, watching suited crowds spill out of their city offices at rush hour, each one of them with a pay check in their pocket.

But I knew I had one thing that they didn’t; time. As much as I wanted more money, I wasn’t willing to give up the way I spent my days.

You choose certainty, or hope. Sew in a hard focus with hope and you’re not going to fail.

Lazy people don’t become successful entrepreneurs or freelancers. After a while it’s too hard.

But if you give up, if you stop working, if you make a decision contrary to your values and accept a paying job that you know wont’ make you feel good, the train stops for a while.

The knock knock knock of bills will always twist a head. If you can go a week without worrying about money you’re doing well. But every time a decision is made just for money that process of shaping the life you want gets a little harder. I always imagined that every time I ignored that temptation and turned down some money on behalf of my value set, then an extra link was added to my chainmail. I got tougher, even a little prouder of myself.

You have to believe and know that if you keep doing what you’re supposed to be doing then the opportunity will come.

And even then, even now, fourteen years on and 60 to 80 speaking gigs a year later, I still look over my shoulder, wondering what will happen when people stop asking me to come and speak to their businesses, communities, companies, employees. What happens if speaking stops being a thing? After all, now it’s my main income stream. I have a home now, I have to pay rent. So what if I don’t get another invite?

Then, Dave, you’ll make more films. Or write another book. Or hold another workshop about making films with a smartphone. Or. Or. Or.

The options are there, and that’s the alternative framework for making a living as a freelancer, whether it’s as an adventurer or something else. Life at its best is about creating options, not as fallbacks, but as parallel solutions to the other stuff you mostly enjoy doing.

And yep, you still gotta spend some time on the spreadsheets. Still gotta do taxes. Still gotta deal with idiots and internet trolls and real life trolls. Still gotta deal with the anxiety of not having enough money sometimes. Still gotta deal with the stuff you once enjoyed but now know you have to iron out of your life.

But it’s helpful having to cope with the downwards arrows. Each one of the things that you don’t enjoy doing reminds you of things you do, and if it’s worth the effort of a couple of hours in the dirt, then you know where your values lie, you know that you’re spending your time well, and you know, most importantly, that there’s always another road to take if the dirt starts to become too frequent.

IDENTITY

Who are you and what do you stand for?

I wear two main hats on my identity rack. Expedition1000, the adventure stuff, and SayYesMore, the community side of things. Until 2012 I kept SayYesMore to myself, as a reminder that I couldn’t get lazy and that there were a million doors out there that wouldn’t be answered with a no.

It feels good knowing who I am. I loved that sense of identity that Expedition1000 gave me when I finally conjured up a lifelong mission in 2010, even after I’d completed two of a proposed twenty-five different thousand-plus mile journeys. I had something to look forward to, a ladder to climb, a painting to create.

And SayYesMore led to the YesTribe, a largely voluntary movement which is kind of based on how I think a decent life should be lived. For so long I didn’t know where to find a community of people who would appreciate a zany idea, or sleeping outside, or happily chat about things like mental health with people they didn’t really know. So I created that community and it’s undoubtedly a central part of my life and identity. Possibly too much so at the moment, because that call of more adventures is getting stronger and stronger.

Time to listen to the heart. And this is probably a good time to share my final advice.

Tell people what you do. Make life easy for people to help you out. Offer yourself up. Always be willing to see value beyond money. Be a lifetime apprentice and if you can, help others on their apprenticeship, too.

Know what you’re not good at and find a workaround, whether that’s outsourcing your weaknesses or just doing something else. Be protective of your time and invest your money, don’t just spend it. Shout out about the good work of other people (this is what social media should really be for). Give yourself regular time away from screens and the internet. It’s more productive and this is where you learn to listen to yourself.

And remember, there’s no hurry so don’t rush, you’ll see less along the way if you do.

*I’ll always be grateful to Tim Turnbull and Aquapac for this.

Something had to change

I’ve been working on my storytelling recently, by condensing what could be pages and pages (or books and books) into a few sentences.

I’ve just finished the first episode of a series of 60 second films that tell the story of my last few years. This is the first one, a general overview that ends with what feels like a natural call to action: which is, how can I help? Other episodes will zero on on each one of my Expedition1000 journeys, and different aspects of SayYesMore’s creation. But for now, here’s Part 1! Let me know what you think!

The Thailand Project: lifestyle mapping for nomads-at-heart

We’re spending two months in Thailand over the first half of British winter. But this isn’t a holiday, it’s a first step towards re-engineering our lifestyle, work-lives and expectations of married life.

Emms and I married 9 weeks ago, and now I’m faced with answering the question I’ve been posed for years; “what happens when you get married, have kids and settle down?”

Do I carry on adventuring? Do I swap the nomadic life for an office? Or would our family life look very different from the average?

Firstly, to answer the silent question: no, Em is not pregnant. But we are talking about the possible pitter patter of tiny feet (or BabyCorns) in a couple of years, and are very open about how that will (likely) change life as we know it.

These last three years I’ve been face-to-face with the settling-down demons — added responsibility, increased cost of living, ambition-killing-comfort, limited scope for creativity forced by limits on time and money— and I haven’t coped so well. I wrote more deeply about this, here.

The need for change rarely comes from a comfortable place, and I see the past three years as a guiding stick for a re-map of what the next stage of life could look like. There are dreams to chase and swamps to avoid, so let’s start with the bits to cut-out and learn from:

1. Cold winters: we live on a boat and the last winter in the UK lasted for five months. We weren’t there for the whole winter, but the other 5 weeks were spent above the Arctic circle on a Norwegian island. That was awesome, but no sun and a feast of general darkness is no way to live.

2. Working space: I need my own space to work in, and this needs to change frequently. For two years Em and I have both freelanced from home. And when home is a 45ft widebeam houseboat and the only viable office is in one room, distraction is high and creativity is cramped.

3. Prohibitive cost of living: I earn well but in recent years I’ve put a considerable share of my earnings into community work and this has coincided with paying London rent/prices, which feel so unnecessary when life has felt more enjoyable in previous less costly scenarios/ places. Not saving much for a rainy day, future tiny humans and new investments/ projects/ expeditions just to have the same roof overhead feels like standing still.

4. Lazy belly: Living in a city, even if it is on a boat, doesn’t excite me anymore. Even worse, motivation to get out and ride, paddle and move is limited when the nearest considerable green space is at least half an hour away. Spending life sitting down is deeply unhealthy. I’m not image conscious, but I’d like to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see physically (this isn’t the same as looking internally — I’m pretty content with the person I am). This is a health thing, not stigma or self-loathing!

A realistic blueprint for home, work and family in the future:

1. What I choose as a lifestyle must also satisfy the needs of Emms. Marriage is not just for September.

2. Freedom: many of my biggest pain points since buying a home in the UK in 2016 have revolved around a lack of room for manoeuvre, in the expectations I have of those around me/ they have of me and in an inability to pursue exciting work without being held back. After living freely and nomadically for a decade, I didn’t know how to stay in one place and still maintain the momentum that had formerly been powered by shifting location and focus.

3. UK: The majority of our work, friends, family are in the UK, so being there during Spring, Summer and Autumn feels right and makes a lot of sense. Our main project, The YesBus, is a fulfilling priority and in 2019, at least, we’d like to live nearby rather than endure the current two hour journey each week.

4. Winter sun: While there are more pleasant climates available, choosing to be damp, cold, Vitamin D deficient and frankly miserable for 4 months is bloody stupid. The only catch is that Em loves Christmas.

5. Water: I love it. And more specifically, being in and on it — especially when it’s not cold. What I’ve learned from the past couple of years is that even living on the water and being able to waterbike and paddle daily isn’t enough. Proximity to water that doesn’t want to kill me — ie.warm, swimmable, accessible, soothing water— is the only medicine I crave.

6. Movement in nature: Whatever the season, wherever we choose to live, it must be within nature. An enjoyable, peaceful environment to exercise in daily and maintain physical and mental health.

7. Work: A healthy balance between personal and community work. One should not override or suppress the other. My best days of work are not necessarily location-dependent but when I feel unstoppable, ideas pour out like water and possibilities and potential are endless. Positive response from new partners, my team and community are fulfilling. Successful events and creations are icing on the cake. But I need to be free in decisions and actions: this means not having to chase the company admin and tax — someone else should cover this — I’m much better at shining a light on others than sitting in a dark room doing dark work. I get more joy from having a silly idea, chasing and making it a reality, then sharing the lessons.

8. Family: I can’t see my kid(s) in the standard English education system. I’d love them to become independent, problem-solving, light-at-heart / strong-in-mind characters, with an empathetic global view. I’d also love them to have more of a social childhood than I did — which means finding community for them as well as weening them on intrepid behaviour.

Paddle boarding in to our new home, with everything we’re travelling with in bags on the back of the boards — see the film of this microadventure

So, to start the process of redefining and redesigning our lives, we’re spending the next few weeks on the Thai island of Koh Phangan in the Gulf of Siam. We’re here to reset and re-energise, to look after ourselves and each other, and to start researching some of the unanswered questions that stand between now and the blueprint above.

Questions like…

Is it cost-effective monetarily and emotionally to spend a proportion of the year in a tropical climate?

Is it practical to be here? What compromises need to be made compared to living at home in the UK? What are the pain points and are there easy solutions?

Ok, so the photos are great, but what are the real benefits of living in an Instagram-friendly place/climate?

Can we find potential partnerships out here to work with SayYesMore?

What is it really about water that makes me tick? And how can I use this longing/ passion to help others?

At a time when our mental health could use some nurturing, is just a few weeks on an island sufficient medicine? And if not (in part or full), can the lessons this new perspective teaches us transfer back to life in the UK, or somewhere else?

I write this on Day 12. We’ve based ourself at a just metres from the sea, at a co-working space called BeacHub in Koh Phangan. Fast internet and a community of other freelancers creates a positive working environment, and our paddleboards are happy to be spending at least an hour a day out on the waves. There’s colour in our skin and a satisfaction at the end of each day. A couple of fresh adventures are brewing and so far, the experiment is working.

In a month or so, as our final days in Thailand draw nearer, I’ll re-visit this blog and see how many questions have been answered.

At our new base, BeacHub in Koh Phangan, Thailand

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